1. Stop checking my status ! Go get a Life!

2. I’m not changed its just I grew up and you should try too.

3. I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.

4. I never insult people I only tell them what they are.

5. If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I’m the worst.

6. The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

7. I always arrive late at office but I make it by leaving early.

8. Im sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot

9. I dont have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT.

10. Not always “Available”.. try your Luck..

11. My attitude based on how you treat me.⁠⁠⁠⁠

12. Yeah You – The one reading my status, Get Lost!

13. Im poor. I can’t pay attention in class room.

14. When I’m good I’m best , when I’m bad I’m worst.

15. Save water drink beer.

16. Im cool but global warming made me hot.

17. Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh its your Attitude

18. I’m Not Special , I’m Just Limited Edition.

19. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

20. Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

21. Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want.

22. I started out with nothing and i still have most of it

23. I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card

24. Sorry vegetarians we cant pretend.

25. Life is too short. Dont waste it reading my Whatsapp status.

26. Tried to loose weight… But it keeps finding me.

27. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.

28. If your bad. Call me your Dad.

29. What is a Best friend? A single soul in two bodies.

30. It is better to live alone. There is no friendship with a fool.

31. Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you.

32. Never forget who was there for you when no one else was.

33. I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I’m smoking.⁠⁠⁠⁠

34. I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced

35. Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

36. Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.

37. I’m not virgin, my life fucks me everyday.

38. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

39. Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.

40. Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off.

41. I love my job only when I’m on vacation

42. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

43. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

44. Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

45. Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn.

46. Not always “Available”.. try your Luck..

47. Time is precious, waste it wisely.

48. They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.

49. I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast I never commented Cute pic dear on girls profile picture.

50. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!

51. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! thats why Im always calm and silent.

52. I don’t have an attitude, I have standards for the people who are supposed to be my friends.
53. If people are trying to bring you Down, It only means that you are Above them.

54. Please dont get confused between my personality and my attitude.
55. When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

56. I know the voices in my head arent real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

57. Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine.

58. Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.


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